Peeing In My Suit

An eventful day for training started with a 6am 9 mile run through the fairly warm and very quiet local streets.

My calf muscle tightness came back after mile 2 and lasted for another couple of miles, certainly easing off towards the end and at mile 7 I had the most excruciating stabbing pain in the sole of my right foot. Again this subsided almost as soon as it came. I took on Rosehill bank which, for me, was an event in itself as I don’t do hills. I was impressed by how easy I found it relative to how I perceived it.

When I finished the run I discovered, through pain, that I had some rather fantastic chafing in the nether regions. A great wadge of Vaseline did little to take the heat away and so it misbehaved for most of the day.

At 4pm I took to the flat, calm sea just off Longsands at Tynemouth. It was very cold but beautiful and I managed to get around a half a mile in before I needed to pause for a loo break. Now, forgive me if you are new to all of this but going to the loo in the sea whilst fully wetsuited requires one to ‘piss themselves’. The urge is often brought about by the cold water and has central heating qualities as the warm pee is trapped next to the skin. Not normally an issue, if anything it is an absolute delight. However, on this occasion the pee very quickly ignited a fire where I had earlier chafed. The pain was horrific and I am only too glad I was several hundred feet off shore so that my agonised groans could not be heard.

Once the pain left me I enjoyed a total swim of just over a mile.


Bet these guys don’t pee in their suits

There is a lesson to learn here and it is obvious what it is but I can’t promise that next time I won’t wet myself on purpose.


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